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Friday, May 16, 2014

A brief list of 10 unbelievably stupid business decisions made by Fortune 500 companies

Bad business decisions
Risk management has its shortcomings
By Ali Asjad

This article is exactly what you needed, right? I mean in today’s climate who doesn’t love to throw some dirt at corporate America? It’s like an old pastime really. With that said, here’s 10 completely moronic-idiotic-imbecilic business decisions made by Fortune 500 Companies. And no, we’re not going to name names…except once.

#1: Going cheese-ball with the brand image

How many times have we seen a major household name go full-retard when they try to re-design their brand image? I mean sure, if you need to freshen things up a bit that’s fine. But, that doesn’t mean you should begin to treat your fan base like they’re 3 year olds for the love of…

 #2: Going after the wrong people (Bad PR)

How about the companies that get caught going after like a little girl, or a pregnant woman, or…a veteran in court? The little people get caught up in the cogs and suddenly it goes viral that so and so is trying to rake grandma over the coals. Bummer. That never goes over too well these days and it’s hard to recover from.

#3: Undertaking massive lies

Again, not naming names here, but how about the companies that think they can pull one over on the population forever. Guess what folks, there’s a million and one consumer watch dog groups out there clamoring for a good story. They would love nothing more than to “break” some big scoop on the latest corporate scandal. Those companies that try to be as transparent as possible will have a leg up on the future.

#4: Getting bailed out

Yeah, it was totally lame and that taint will NEVER wash off the names who got a bit of the money. Oh what…they paid it back with interest? So what. That doesn’t make news or stick in people’s minds. What happened to the free market?

#5: Completely useless upgrades – No testing

Sometimes you sit back and try to imagine the people who think this nonsense up in some creepy board room. And worse yet, the people in charge who make the call to take these things to market without testing. Yes, the Energizer Bunny was a good call. But, so many of the childish products coming out to try and make a quick buck are just downright embarrassing.

#6: Dumping tons of capital into a Hail Mary

“Oh my, business is bad. Let’s throw a Hail Mary with a brick ton of the company’s money and hope for the best.” How often has one of these moves of desperation really paid off and won the game vs. not? Spend that money on reaching out to human beings in a sincere and creative way instead of make some rash last minute call.

#7: Wading into claimed territory (Apple Maps)

Remember when Apple tried to do Apple Maps despite the fact Google had already clearly dominated the sphere? Yeah, that was funny. It happens all the time though. More often than we notice.

#8: Completely ridiculous CEO pay during depression/recession

This is so utterly pointless and is someday going to come home to roost in America. You’ve got an employment crisis, unprecedented fiscal fallout, dismal earnings, and scandals up the Ying Yang but these CEOs get 7 or 8 figures and a raise to boot? This is after taxpayer bailouts and endless quantitative easing? Oh you’ve got to be #$%@ing me.

#9: Getting too politically involved

They get so big they become primary donors to political candidates and then it’s pretty much just a sad charade from there. It’s bad PR dude!

#10: Leaving consumers behind – and not hiring enough MBAs

“We’re a globally recognized brand and a successful company now, so let’s begin making as much money as possible at our customers’ expense.” Really…Yeah, it feels good doesn’t it? Throwing stones at corporates will never get old because they’ll never stop making numbskull moves. Until next time.

About the author: Ali Asjad is a content strategist based in Stockholm, Sweden. He helps companies in vast and varied verticals be more successful and visible online. Circle him on Google+ to further the conversation.

Images: Author owned and licensed